Once again, meh. I might have to turn in my Brangeloonie Platinum Membership Card, but I am so
not excited about Angelina’s Bosnian film. I think the whole thing - while made with good intentions - sounds like a hot mess, a disaster of epic proportions. I’m not looking forward to the release, because I feel like Angelina is going to bashed soundly, and she will deserve a great deal of it.
Press conferences are a strange beast of journalism in any case, but try going to one about a cartoon Chinese bear featuring random, impertinent questions from reporters from seemingly every continent on the planet, except for maybe Antarctica. Then throw in the incongruous pairing of Angelina Jolie with Jack Black and Dustin Hoffman, and you might get close to the bizarre experience that was the Kung Fu Panda 2 press conference at Cannes this morning.
The questions centered mostly on Jolie’s children, Jolie’s motherhood, Jolie playing tough women, Jolie playing a tigress, Jolie’s great popularity in China, what Jolie thinks about bin Laden (“I’m here in the context of Kung Fu Panda; I’d rather not get into such a heavy issue”), and when Jolie was going to come visit China. No one asked when Jolie was going to adopt a Chinese baby, but we got there five minutes late.
The last time the Kung Fu Panda gang was at Cannes, Black accidentally spilled the beans about Jolie’s pregnancy, and then Hoffman spilled the beans about her due date, overtaking the news cycle. This time around, both kept mostly quiet, seemingly amused by the single-mindedness of the room’s hive mind. Not prompted by any question, Hoffman leaned into the mike and said, “I do feel if we had a male director, I would have had a bigger part.” Later: “Since I finally got asked a question … ” One reporter asked the group, “Where do you find inner peace?” Hoffman replied, “I’ve never been so at peace as I am at this moment, being this famous, in front of all these cameras, and sitting next to Angelina.”
When another reporter asked the group about their favorite cartoons growing up, Hoffman said, “Being perhaps the oldest person in the room — if anyone is older, please stand now — I remember the first film I ever saw was Bambi.” No one stood. He also cited a rendition of Pinocchio in which the puppet lays too close to the fire and has his legs burnt off. “What version did you see?!” asked a horrified Jolie.
When BRAD PITT filmed a totally uncredited cameo for the new Bosnian War film/ love story baby-momma ANGELINA JOLIE’s directing, it was just for a giggle – he and Ange thought it’d be fun to see whether moviegoers would spot him in his blink-and-ya-miss-it role playing a soldier shot by a sniper – but suddenly, Brad’s brief scene’s NO laughing matter.
Director Jolie just fired the first shot in what’s shaping up to be “World War 3” with the film’s producers! Said a behind-the-scenes insider: “Trouble started brewing when Angelina turned over the final cut of the film, which still has the working title of ‘Untitled Bosnian Love Story’ – but at three hours screen time, it’s way too long. It needs to be cut to two hours and a half, or less. After viewing it, editors recommended cutting Brad’s surprise cameo. It’s a short, valiant death scene – but not significant to the story line, so producers told director Jolie to chop it.”
Angelina’s “Tomb Raider” response: I’LL BE CHOPPING, BOYS – BUT IT WON’T BE BRAD’S SCENE! “She was furious, and immediately pulled rank as the film’s director and writer,” said the source.
“She told the powers-that-be that Brad’s scene stays… period! Angelina knows that because the news that Brad shot the scene leaked to the press, fans will thrill to the challenge of trying to spot the superstar – so she’s flatly refused to ‘kill’ her live-in’s death scene.”
And why would producers kill a built-in publicity coup like that? Stay tuned.
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